In This Series:
Jesus’ Warning Against Divorce-Mindedness Part 1
Jesus’ Warning Against Divorce-Mindedness Part 3
In Mark 10:5, Jesus clearly stated that “hardness of heart” is the reason why divorce occurs. The metaphor speaks of someone who is impervious to the influence of God. It is akin to the OT concept of a “stiff-necked” kind of obstinacy that characterized an ox that was difficult to control when plowing (Exodus 32:9). Jesus indicted the Pharisees of such hardness. Like many today, they didn’t want to accept God’s design of marriage.
Hardness of Heart
The Pharisees’ hardness of heart is displayed throughout this passage. First, they came to test Jesus (v. 2). The reason they approached Jesus in the first place had nothing to do with an honest desire to be better husbands or promote better marriages in Israel. They were testing Him. They were putting Him through an intense examination so that they could find fault in Him.
Second, their response to Jesus reveals their hardness in verses 3-4. Jesus’ question was very simple and straight forward. What did Moses “command” you to do? Their response used a different verb, one that involved permission and did not deal with the specific commandment involved. Jesus asked a question dealing with the commands of God, but they answered in terms of “permission” (v. 4). Their answer indicates that they were not interested in God’s ideal but with justifying perversions of it. Their choice of Deuteronomy 24:1-4 provided a poor legal basis to divorce for a couple of reasons. First, the command involved only regulates divorcing someone. It does not command nor even permit it. Second, the command merely recognizes that, in a fallen world, divorce will happen and was given to limit the damage of a broken marriage relationship, not sanction divorce.
Years ago, British Petroleum caused more than four million barrels of oil to spill into the Gulf of America (formerly Gulf of Mexico). The mess was catastrophic. However, there were laws on the books that required such messes to be dealt with. Under the Clean Water Act, the law imposed large penalties. The penalties allowed the funds to assess the damage and clean it up. To claim that these laws legalized such spills would completely miss the point of the law. The law simply sought to limit the damage of oil spills when they occurred, not legalize them. In using Deuteronomy 24:1-4, the Pharisees were missing the point of the Law concerning marriage. It was not a good passage to teach about God’s ideal for marriage.
Sadly, many people today have the same hardness of heart toward God’s Word. They search the Scriptures seeking to answer the question, “What can I get away with?” rather than, “What does God really want?” Like the Pharisees, they are impervious to the influence of God. Errant theology and morality almost always focus on the wrong passages to justify their position.
A Rejection of Jesus’ Authority
In verses 6-9, Jesus set forth God’s ideal for marriage. Jesus answered the Pharisees according to another passage in the Torah. The Pharisees built their case on a passage that was a concession to human failure and hardness of heart. Jesus set forth a much better passage to understand God’s design for marriage.
I grew up in the Rocky Mountains and always enjoyed the pristine beauty of a fresh snowfall. It blanketed the landscape with glistening purity. However, once the dogs were let out, the undefiled sanctuary became quickly soiled with unsightly patches of yellow and brown. Jesus went back to the way it was meant to be, “But from the beginning of creation” (v. 6). Profound simplicity. Jesus does not want His disciples to misunderstand God’s intention for marriage, so He takes them back to the beginning. He chose pre-fall over post-sin.
Genesis 1 and 2 make it clear that it was God who established marriage. It was God who said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” It was God who said, “I will make a helper suitable for him.” It was God who brought Eve to Adam to be his wife. No matter how you look at it, the whole thing was God’s doing. It wasn’t until the marriage union had been made that Creation was described as “very good.” Marriage is to be honored because its origin is from the mind of God.
Marriage predates government. Marriage predates the church. Marriage predates the family. None of these entities can define marriage because it was already defined when they came into existence. Neither can they speak about the purpose for marriage; only the Lord of marriage can speak to its purpose. That is exactly who Mark holds Jesus out to be.
Jesus goes on to affirm four significant characteristics of marriage:
Marriage is a union between male and female (verse 6). This statement addresses the gender issue. God made humanity into two distinct gender categories. Other gender distinctions are not from God, and neither are homosexual unions.
Marriage is a stronger bond than the parent-child relationship (verse 7). When a marriage occurs, there is a leaving and cleaving that must occur by design.
Marriage is a union between two, and only two, people (verse 8). Polygamy was not part of God’s original design but a perversion of it. Moreover, the two are “no longer (i.e., never again) two, but one flesh.” As one commentator stated,
(Jesus’ teaching) … lifts marriage from being a mere contract of mutual convenience to an ‘ontological’ status. It is not merely that ‘one flesh’ should not be separated; it cannot. Jesus’ comment that οὐκέτι εἰσὶν δύο (they are no longer two) underlines this concept: they are no longer two independent beings who may choose to go their own way, but a single indivisible unit.
Marriage is oneness out of two, physically and spiritually. It is a new creation. It is a cessation of two individuals and the beginning of one new entity with two distinctions. The one flesh also speaks of sexual completeness. Nothing is lacking for sexual fulfillment or for the propagation of the human race. A profound expression of the one flesh is seen in the children. Each is a reflection of their parents. This is why divorce is so hard on the children. Someone once said it well, “Your marriage is the planet your children live on.”
Marriage is permanent (verse 9). The God of the universe has joined them together. K. S. Wuest explains:
The words “joined together” are suzeugnumi (συζευγνυμι) “to fasten to one yoke, to yoke together,” of the marriage tie, “to join together, to unite.” The word is made up of the Greek word for a yoke, such as is put on an animal, and the prefixed preposition sun (συν) which means “with.” The same word is used in Philippians 4:3 and translated “yokefellow.” It speaks of one who pulls well in double-harness.
A married couple is to pull together. That is, they are to pray, play, think, reflect, share pain, and experience joy together. They live life together. Whatever life may have in store for one or both, they face it and share it together.
Jesus clearly affirmed that divorce is not God’s ideal for marriage. The only imperative in this section is Jesus’ additional comment, “Let no man separate!” This prohibition forbids divorce in the strongest language. From Jesus’ perspective, God yoked them together and therefore it is not for Jewish tradition or anyone else to unyoke them.
Nothing in this text suggests that Jesus’ position on divorce is anything but absolute prohibition. He does not want His followers to be divorce-minded. Many argue on the basis of Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 that Jesus intends for an exception to be made in the case of adultery. Be that as it may, it is important to note that Mark, Luke, and Paul (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) do not give exception clauses. Even though the matter continues to be debated, it’s clear that Jesus does not demand divorce even if it is justified. Edwards’ comment is on target.
Whether or not Jesus allowed for divorce on the basis of adultery is therefore not certain; and even in the case of adultery there is no indication that he demanded divorce, as did the rabbis. If the guilty partner repented and ceased from sin and the other partner forgave him or her, the marriage could be redeemed. The adultery clause, at any rate, is not the key to Mark’s narrative. The essential thrust of 10:1–12 is the inviolability of the marriage bond as intended and instituted by God. Jesus does not conceive of marriage on the grounds of its dissolution but on the grounds of its architectural design and purpose by God.
The Jewish divorce policy of the day had made the Jewish leaders the lord of the marriage relationship. Who is the Lord of marriage? Not the man, not the woman, not the government, not the church, but Jesus Himself is Lord over marriage. He not only came to redeem humanity but also marriage.
Jesus’ teaching was a revolutionary shift in the way men and women relate in marriage. Jesus’ simplistic return to the beginning recovered something that had been lost and had been negatively impacting humanity ever since. This was a glorious day in the history of the earth.
For more on overcoming divorce-mindedness, including references and sources, see Reigning Together: A Christ-Exalting Marriage, Chapter 3 and Appendix 3, available on Amazon.