In This Series:
Jesus’ Warning Against Divorce-Mindedness Part 1
Jesus’ Warning Against Divorce-Mindedness Part 2
Of all people, Jesus wants His followers to honor the covenant of marriage. We are not to be a divorce-minded kind of people. Like Him, we are to be reconciliation-minded. We need to grow in sending away offenses, not the people who cause them. Followers of Christ are to perform their marital obligations first and foremost for Christ’s sake. The solution for the divorce mindset is a softened heart toward the Lordship of Christ. God wants His people to honor His design for marriage in all seasons of life. This also applies to those who are not currently married nor ever will be. Jesus wasn’t married but He honored marriage, nonetheless.
Reconciliation-mindedness is one of the most important skills God’s people need to learn in life. If you do not learn it before you are married, it will not magically appear on your wedding day. If you are divorce-minded now, you will be then unless you change. You take whoever you are into your marriage. It is important to understand that Jesus expects God’s standard to be honored. He did not set up an unrealistic “pie in the sky” ideal, as R.T. France aptly commented,
[Marriage] … must not be relegated to the category of an ‘ideal’ which we all admire but do not seriously expect to be implemented. God’s design for unbroken, lifelong marriage is not an ‘ideal’ in that sense, but the realistic standard to which we are expected to conform and on which the health of human society depends.
Bear in mind that Jesus is not trying to heap a bunch of guilt upon those who have failed in this area. In Mark 3:28 Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, all sins shall be forgiven the sons of men.” There is no instance in Scripture where an individual who is seeking forgiveness is denied. From my pastoral perspective, I have observed two kinds of divorced people. There are those who truly repent; they experience forgiveness, learn from it, and gospel fruitfulness is granted to them. In fact, some of the most fruitful people in gospel ministry that I know have experienced divorce. Then there are those who never truly repent. They blame, excuse, justify, do not learn, and carry their divorce-minded dysfunction with them into their next relationship. A divorce-minded person is like the skunk that went around the globe and decided that the whole world stinks.
Jesus’ position was unpopular in His day. This standard was so radical that in Matthew 19:10 the disciples said, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry!” His position is just as unpopular today. But Jesus is still calling His disciples to kingdom living.
The marriage bond is an emblem of Christ and His church. When couples relate to one another in the holy bond of marriage, they worship God, proclaim the gospel, and put the invisible God on display. Although much of marriage involves the day-to-day mundane activities of life, it is a glorious institution with a glorious purpose. Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:22-33 are a treasure trove of great truth that describe Christ’s love for His church. W. B. Mackenzie expresses this well in Married Life:
It is the church that Christ loves, redeems, purifies, and engages to make eternally happy with Himself. Meanwhile He cherishes the church as His spouse; Provides for all her wants; Relieves her sorrows; Meets her difficulties; Protects, guides, and comforts her all through life. Christ is the head of the church; He regards her with His boundless love; She confides in Him with unfailing faith. Their interests are one. He loves her as Himself; She leaves all and seeks her happiness supremely in Him.
The last thing on Christ’s mind is divorcing His people. He is reconciliation-minded to the supreme degree. His followers are to emulate His example for His glory and their joy.
For more on overcoming divorce-mindedness, including references and sources, see Reigning Together: A Christ-Exalting Marriage, Chapter 3 and Appendix 3, available on Amazon.
